Zeppositions
by Jeanny
Summary: This is a series of five short vignettes detailing various characters thoughts after seeing Xander during The Zeppo.
1. Fortunate Son (Giles)

Title: Fortunate Son

Author: Jeanny

E-mail: jeannygrrl@hotmail.com

Rating: G

Spoilers: Season 3 Through The Zeppo.

Distribution/Archive: Go right ahead, if you like, just let me know where it's going.

Disclaimer: I don't own them, would that I did. The characters herein belong to Joss, Mutant Enemy, Greenwalt, Fox, etc. I'm merely using them to tell my own little story.

Feedback: Please! I need it.

Summary: Giles' thoughts after seeing Xander in The Zeppo.

*******************

This is no good. There's nothing to be done. We're going to lose. 

No, no, those thoughts won't help here, Rupert. Trust your Slayer. Trust yourself. You have the resources and you will find the answer. 

Dear Lord, I'm talking to myself. At least it's only in my head. It is only in my head, yes? Yes. Yes, it's this place. It's simply too hard to concentrate here...something's not...there's something...

Whatever was Xander saying? Who is Bob? No, I don't get that joke at all. 

What a strange young man he is. Though I do like the lad. Even with his endless prattling. 

And his incomprehensible and misplaced attempts at humor. 

And his annoying habit of commenting on my interior monologue. I can hear that rather snarky voice in my mind already teasing me about my use of the word 'lad'. That is quite bothersome.

Still, he is a young man of exceptional courage. What little I know of his upbringing makes that all the more remarkable. Buffy is fortunate to have such a friend. I fear we may not be able to keep him out of this. Despite Buffy's wishes.

Despite my own.

If time runs out...

I must stop thinking apocalyptic thoughts.

Yes, that should stop the world from ending, the not thinking about it. Good show, Rupert. 

I must remember to ask Buffy about that Bob thing. 

**********

Feedback is appreciated!


	2. A Hard Goodbye (Willow)

Title: A Hard Goodbye

Author: Jeanny

E-mail: jeannygrrl@hotmail.com

Rating: G

Spoilers: Season 3 Through The Zeppo.

Distribution/Archive: Go right ahead, if you like, just let me know where it's going.

Disclaimer: I don't own them, would that I did. The characters herein belong to Joss, Mutant Enemy, Greenwalt, Fox, etc. I'm merely using them to tell my own little story.

Feedback: Please! I need it.

Summary: Willow's thoughts after seeing Xander in The Zeppo.

*******************

I didn't kiss him.

God, I really wanted to kiss him. I mean, what if that's the last time I'll ever see Xander, and I didn't even kiss him goodbye. I hugged him. I hugged him harder than I've ever hugged anyone...but no kiss. 

It's not like I gave it any thought, either, like should I or shouldn't I? I just...didn't. My kisses are for Oz now, and that's just how it is. I'm over Xander that way. Which is good. Really good.

So why does it feel like I'm dying as I'm walking away? Because he's your friend, stupid. Your best friend since forever, and the world's gonna end. Of course it hurts. This sort of thing is supposed to hurt. We're all gonna die unless we can stop this somehow. I've got to hurry. Buffy needs me...

Oh God. I told him I love him. It's okay. Xander probably thinks I meant it in the friend way, though. I mean, I did mean it in the friend way. That's the way I meant it. I love Oz...but it's okay that I love Xander as a friend. Still, I don't think I'll mention running into Xander tonight. It's a wolfy night, and the world's ending...enough to deal with without Xander and the fluke and all of that mixed in too.

I wish I'd kissed him goodbye. I should go back. I have to go back. I have to...I can't. There's no time. There's no point.

Goodbye Xander. I wish... 

It doesn't really matter what I wish. 

**********

Feedback is appreciated!


	3. Nothing But An Afterthought (Faith)

Title: Nothing But An Afterthought

Author: Jeanny

E-mail: jeannygrrl@hotmail.com

Rating: PG-13

Spoilers: Season 3 Through The Zeppo.

Distribution/Archive: Go right ahead, if you like, just let me know where it's going.

Disclaimer: I don't own them, would that I did. The characters herein belong to Joss, Mutant Enemy, Greenwalt, Fox, etc. I'm merely using them to tell my own little story.

Feedback: Please! I need it.

Summary: Faith's thoughts after, um, seeing Xander in The Zeppo.

*******************

Much better. That worked out some kinks.

Usually I don't like breaking in the rookies, but the kid wasn't bad. And he's got nice equipment. Real nice.

Wonder how B's gonna react when she finds out I busted her boy. She's a fool. He wanted her bad, and she went for the vamp instead. I mean, I get the Angel thing, he's more than fine. But Xander's more doable. Heh. All sweet and caring and normal. And he takes a licking and his soul's still ticking. She's not so smart after all, is she?

Even if she does wise up she'll always know I got there first. I was first, B.

I know Willow's gonna flip. She's with the wolf-boy, but she's still jonesing for him, anyone can see it. Guess I've burned that little bridge...fuck, that bridge thought it was too good for me anyway.

He wanted to stay and be all sensitive-guy, I think. Screw that. I don't want cuddly and cute. I don't want hand-holding, flowers and puppies and shit. All that love stuff just screws you up inside. It always ends badly. 

People get hurt. 

I might sign up for another go, though. Next time I need to blow off...something.

**********

Feedback is appreciated!


	4. Stand Up Guy (Buffy)

Title: Stand Up Guy

Author: Jeanny

E-mail: jeannygrrl@hotmail.com

Rating: G

Spoilers: Season 3 Through The Zeppo.

Distribution/Archive: Go right ahead, if you like, just let me know where it's going.

Disclaimer: I don't own them, would that I did. The characters herein belong to Joss, Mutant Enemy, Greenwalt, Fox, etc. I'm merely using them to tell my own little story.

Feedback: Please! I need it.

Summary: Buffy's thoughts after seeing Xander in The Zeppo.

Author's Note: Thanks for the idea, Malaskor. I'm working on more of these.

*******************

Okay, that was an awkward moment. Xander looked way embarrassed. More than embarrassed. He looked scared. God, Angel looks terrified. 

I wonder what I look like. 

But Xander, I mean, Xander doesn't even know what's going on. I had to keep him out of it. I wish I could keep them all out of it. Willow, Giles, even Faith.

And Angel.

But I need their help. Without it there's no chance at all. Even with their help it might not be enough. And they all have some kind of superpowers to protect themselves. Xander only has courage...amazing courage. Cause he's just a regular guy, fighting things that...wanna eat regular guys. 

I know he'd come to help if I asked. I know he'd stand up and die for me...for all of us...but that's the last thing I want. I've got to keep one of my friends safe, if only so I know I did. So that even if we all die, if somehow he goes on and has some kind of life, it'll have been so worth it.

I'm doing the right thing here, I know it. For Xander. 

For me.

I wish there was time to say goodbye.

**********


	5. You Can't Be Serious (Cordelia)

Title: You Can't Be Serious

Author: Jeanny

E-mail: jeannygrrl@hotmail.com

Rating: G

Spoilers: Season 3 Through The Zeppo.

Distribution/Archive: Go right ahead, if you like, just let me know where it's going.

Disclaimer: I don't own them, would that I did. The characters herein belong to Joss, Mutant Enemy, Greenwalt, Fox, etc. I'm merely using them to tell my own little story.

Feedback: Please! I need it.

Summary: Cordelia's thoughts after seeing Xander at the end of The Zeppo.

**********

What the hell just happened?

That...looked like Xander Harris. But he looked all confident, like he knows something. Xander never knows anything.

And he...ignored me. Xander ignored me. He acted like I'm nothing.

I'm not nothing.

Maybe he knows about Daddy and the IRS. Knows that I'm not rich anymore. That I'm not popular anymore either, thanks to him and his straying lips.

Oh God, am I nothing?

No. Xander's the one who's nothing. He's always been nothing but a loser, except when he was dating me. And then he threw that all away, so he's a double loser. Not even worth thinking about. So I'm not thinking about him anymore. No more thoughts of Xander. Done.

I don't care what he thinks he knows. Because whatever it is, I bet it's wrong.

He looked kinda hot, though. Like he was all confident and-wait, wrong, no! No thoughts of Xander's hotness. I've stopped that temporary insanity. It's over.

I'm not thinking about Xander.

I'm not.

**********

Feedback is appreciated!


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